


Circumstantially Similar

by Pikcel



Series: Circumstantially Similar [1]
Category: BanG Dream! (Anime), BanG Dream! Girl's Band Party! (Video Game)
Genre: Emotional Baggage, F/F, Light Angst, Self-Esteem Issues, Self-Hatred
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-08-01
Updated: 2018-10-03
Packaged: 2019-06-19 22:05:14
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 3,449
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15519609
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Pikcel/pseuds/Pikcel
Summary: The smell of bread has always been alluring to Arisa since she met Saaya; But is it really the bread that Arisa actually enjoys?





	1. Budding Realizations

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> What was meant to be a simple trip to get some bread turned out to be more than what Arisa had bargained for.

Arisa and Saaya had at least one thing in common, they both somewhat isolated themselves in their own home. Their reasons are vastly different, however, for one it was more of a selfish decision and for the other it was rather selfless. 

Saaya stayed home as much as she could while balancing with her studies. She felt like she had to, to take care of things so that her mom didn't overexert herself again. That phone call was still haunting her to this day. 

Arisa had built a shell around herself, she had been hurt in the past, she had been used in the past. She had been made a fool so of course she struggled to trust again and understandably so. 

Yet, surprisingly enough, the later found herself going out a bit more, but she always needed an excuse, whether it was real or not didn't really matter, it just made her feel safer. 

She wasn't going to go see Saaya, she wasn't going to the Yamabuki bakery for her, she was going to buy bread. If she told herself that, if the drummer ended up hurting her feelings, she wouldn't be that attached right..?

Arisa was lying to herself, she had grown attached to her but she couldn't even admit it to herself. She was only going for the bread. Then why did she feel such a large amount of disappointment when she saw that Saaya's mother was at the register instead of the girl herself..? Why did she freeze in the doorway? That was a childish reaction, ugh... 

As she decided to walk in further, since she did come for bread, after all, the older member of the Yamabuki family retreated to the backstore, sending her daughter in instead. 

"Arisa? What are you doing here?" The girl knew that the other wasn't the type to go out without a reason. She had the shorter girl all figured out in such a small amount of time that the keyboardist almost thought of isolating herself even more at one point. 

"Wha- Why else would I be here but to get some bread?!" She replied, faking being offended by such a question; though she had only managed to fool herself with this reaction. 

"Ah, right of course." Saaya walked towards her friend with a light giggle. She never really understood why she found her so adorably funny at times, despite her obvious issues. "What do you want?"

"Um..." The blonde blinked. She was coming for bread! Then why didn't she have a particular bread in mind?? 

Saaya had a bittersweet smile on her lips. She understood what was happening. After all, she often came up with excuses to go back home after the incident when she was a bit younger. The blue eyed girl placed a hand on Arisa's shoulder and gently moved her towards the backstore, or her home. "Come on, follow me." 

The shorter girl nearly jumped at the other’s touch, she had probably noticed that she had grown tense, too... Oh jeez, why was she being told to follow her in the back? Was it somehow against the bakery's rules to come in without knowing what to order..? That was the only explanation that she could come up with. "Melon bun!" She shouted. 

"Mm, mm, don't worry you're leaving with a melon bun." Saaya said as they reached the kitchen. "I'll be in my room!" She said to her mother as she kept leading the girl along. 

Her room? Why?? The blonde could feel the blood rushing to her face and she despised it. Why was this happening? She just wanted some bread! Was she blushing for the lack of bread? Come on Arisa, that was ridiculous!

Before she knew it, she was in Saaya's modest room. She shut the door and faced the pigtailed girl , looking at her in the eyes with a smile. "Arisa, you don't need an excuse to come see me, you know?"

The amber eyed gal broke eye contact rather quickly, turning her head. She felt a ball of anxiety well up in her stomach, threatening to show itself. "I-I know..! I just wanted bread, jeez..." 

"If it's the truth then you shouldn't have a problem looking me in eyes and say it?" Saaya challenged the other girl, thinking it would settle this once and for all in either way.

"Fine." She looked the taller girl in the eyes. "I only came here for bread." 

"You looked away as you said bread, Arisa." 

"No-No I didn't! I really came for bread!" The blonde huffed as she crossed her arms. 

Saaya was able to read Arisa's body language and knew that she was putting distance between them. "You sound like you're lying to yourself."

That did not feel good. In fact, it made the ball of anxiety inside her body grow. "I-I- I'm not lying..! I just-" 

Saaya cut her friend off. "My mom told me you looked disappointed when you saw her."

"That's-! I didn't look like that!" 

"I don't want to have another argument in here, Arisa." Saaya said a tad coldly. She had enough of her argument with Kasumi. 

Her ball of anxiety grew once more, she nearly felt it in her throat, threatening to spill out. Why was she feeling hurt by Saaya's tone? She just wanted bread, she didn't care about her..! She didn't... The blonde looked down and to the side. "Sorry..."

That single word was enough to take the rose gold haired girl aback. Had Arisa just apologized to her..? She had never seen her apologize to anyone before. Had her tone affected her that much? Saaya rubbed the back of her neck. "Ah no, no..! I should be the one saying sorry, that was kind of cold of me..." 

"That's true..." She wouldn't argue with that, though she did feel bad for some reason... Why did Saaya apologizing to her made her feel so uncomfortable? 

The taller girl let out a soft chuckle. "There's the Arisa I know."

"Whatever..." Arisa mumbled, her eyes still transfixed to the ground. 

"Come on, let's get you that melon bun."


	2. Blooming Realizations

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> While Arisa is still struggling with understanding what those chemicals in her body are trying to convey, Saaya understands rather quickly; But at what cost?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A bit of a shorter chapter this time but I felt it was necessary to cut it there to keep things flowing steadily between events and chapters!
> 
> The ending notes contain spoilers on the second chapter! Only read once the chapter is read!

Arisa stood by Ryuuseido with her melon bread in hand, smelling it. It still smelled like it did back at the bakery but for some reason it did not give her the same rush, the same... Numbness in her abdomen. Not that it was something she enjoyed, but it was just something that was missing where it should be. It was now something she didn't understand. Well, at least she could fill part of that void with her melon bread, now...

Halfway into the bread, she figured that the blue eyed girl would be out of her head by now, yet it was to no avail. Even once she was done with the baked good in its entirety. Even when she laid in bed to sleep, hours later. The rose gold haired gal was monopolizing her thoughts, sometimes reawakening this feeling of numbness in her core. She didn't understand it, she hated it. Why was it even there to begin with? It just added to her frustrations about how distant it had gotten from the bread at this point. 

Once she eventually fell asleep, she woke up in the middle of the night. The taller girl had also monopolized her dreams but this one dream... This one didn't end well, at all. It seemed so sweet at first but things went off the rails so fast. Her heart was beating so fast, she was near hyperventilation and... She had cried..? She was still crying?? That's when it hit her. She cared about Yamabuki Saaya. It took her a nightmare. The fact that she constantly thought about her wasn't enough. Jeez... How dense was she..? 

She took a moment to collect herself, catch back her breath and went back to sleep, the baker once again invading her dreamscape along with the smell of freshly baked bread.

 

Saaya, on the other hand, was left to wonder why she wanted to help Arisa. Granted, she always wanted to help others but with the amber eyed girl, it felt different. Could it be pity? No, she didn't pity anyone, did she..? That wasn't why she strived off helping others. Then again it might be for selfish reasons, to boost her own ego. Why did all those questions come up now? That feeling didn't make sense to be pity, it was more so hearing a call for help from deep down within the shorter girl. And those butterflies definitely didn't come from pity. 

Butterflies... Did she have a crush on the keyboardist? And was it reciprocal? She did seem to have come over to see her over buying bread, despite being so adamant that all she wanted was a melon bread... The drummer shook her head. That was ridiculous... Arisa, having a crush on her? Hah, she'd be shocked to hear if anyone had a crush on her but this girl was on another level, she had put up so many walls and mostly displayed negative emotions, love definitely wasn't one that she'd show, especially not to someone as mediocre as her. 

The blonde still needed help, however, and the baker was going to do her best to help her, despite her mind telling her that helping her was a manipulative attempt to get her to like her. Saaya barely slept that night, her own sorry thoughts keeping her awake with words that were poisoning her mind. Poisoning her already low sense of self worth. 

Another thing that Arisa and Saaya had in common was that they both struggled with their emotions, though in dissimilar ways.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I attempted to do some clever writing things, like using words rarely used to describe such feelings to show that Arisa struggled to understand them. 
> 
> I also flipped their roles, somewhat. Where Arisa was usually selfish, she could only think of someone else this time, and where as Saaya usually thinks of others, she could only focus on her own shortcomings, despite them not being actual facts.


	3. Buried Feelings

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Now that they are both aware, to some extent, of their feelings, how will they handle meeting again?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm sorry this one took so long! I've had it done for a while but I was stumped about the title until I realized that I couldn't go further with the concept, oops... 
> 
> I hope you enjoy this chapter, though!

"I don't understand it but... Saaya means a lot to me lately..." Arisa said to Rimi. Before the latter could reply, Saaya spoke instead. "I mean a lot to you?"

With a sharp gasp, the blonde woke up, sitting up in bed. It was another nightmare. Granted this one didn't end nearly as badly as the previous one... 

"Arisa? Had a nightmare?" The baker who happened to be in her room asked.

The keyboardist stared on, blinking. Why was she in her room..? Did she speak in her sleep..? Had she heard that she cared about her..? She eventually nodded towards the other, answering her question. "Mm..."

She giggled. "I'd say you had a rough night from the state of your bed and your position but I think that's just how much you move in your sleep in general, right?"

"So... So what..?" She replied, averting her gaze, hoping the blue eyed girl wouldn't notice the red creeping up on her cheeks. 

"Hmmm, nothing really, it's kinda cute is all~." ...Well those words came out of her mouth on their own.

"I-..! It's not!" As if her cheeks weren't red enough..

"Haha, sorry sorry~."

"What are you even doing here anyway..?" 

"Oh, right! I figured you could use a few breads. It's on the house."

"E-Eh..? Why?"

That took the drummer by surprise. She had just done what the shorter girl had done the day prior. Used bread as an excuse to see her. She had no excuse here, though. She was bringing her bread...

"...Saaya?" 

"Ah! Erm, right! I just thought it'd be nice since I pulled you to my room without asking, yesterday..."

"So you came to my room without asking." 

"I- Your grandma said it was fine. I'm sorry, Arisa..!"

She couldn't help but chuckle a little as she slowly got out of bed, stretching her limbs. "I'm just messing around. It's fine." 

Blink blink. She really should stop staring. And stop picturing herself in bed with her, cuddling. "A-Haha.. You got me!"

"Hm? Saaya, you're red. Is the Sun that harsh today?"

"That's probably it, mm!" She nodded as she handed the other the paper bag which contained a few breads that were misshapen. 

"Oh, right. Thanks." She took the bag and opened it, looking at the breads. "Huh, they got personality."

That was something she didn't expect to come out from Arisa's mouth. "Personality, huh? That's a cute way to look at it." 

"He-Hey..! It's just what my grandma used to say when I made mistakes..." It suddenly registered. She had just said that out loud. "Forget I said anything..!"

"Okay okay, that'll be our little secret~." The fact that the keyboardist had opened up to her made her feel some type of way. Warm would be somewhat fitting of that feeling. 

Those words were enough for her cheeks to redden again. "Well I guess that'll have to do..."

Saaya let out a warm chuckle, she felt as if time had slowed down a little. She really enjoyed this moment but she snapped back to reality. "I should get going huh..."

"You-You could stay for breakfast..! If you want to..." As much as she would've liked to keep eye contact for this whole sentence, she was unable to do so. 

The drummer was left silent for a bit, processing that she had just been asked to stay for breakfast by Arisa herself, and not by her grandma. Her lack of self-worth started to build up but she managed to push it down. With a smile, she replied "I'd love to, Arisa."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Rimi is the best wingman.


	4. Emerging Feelings

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Rimi visits the Yamabuki bakery and notices that something seems off about her friend.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is pretty long-ish to compensate for the long wait between chapter 2 and 3! I hope you all enjoy!

"I'll see you tomorrow- A-At school I mean..!" 

For some reason, those words resonated in Saaya's head. The fact that Arisa had to precise afterwards implied she would like to see her tomorrow before school... Wasn't that Kasumi's thing, though? To show up at Arisa's for breakfast? She couldn't do it to her... She didn't deserve to do it. 

The sound of bells chiming made Saaya snap back to reality. That's right! She was at the counter of the bakery... Someone had just came through the door and as she looked, she had to look down a little to make eye contact with red irises. "Ah-Ah, Rimi-rin! Here for your choco coronets?"

"Mm!" The raven haired girl looked at the baker with an air of curiosity. She had acted a bit strange as she walked in... 

"Is.. Everything okay?" The drummer asked as she got two choco coronets and started packing them. 

"You looked distracted, Saaya-chan..."

"Ha-Haah? Me? Why would I be distracted?" She replied rather nervously as she wasn't used to be confronted about those kind of feelings.

At first, Rimi thought that it would be about her mom but the reaction told her that it was something else. That made her let out a soft, airy giggle. "It seems like it's something good."

Saaya sighed in defeat, she couldn't keep it away from Rimi and if she trusted anyone to keep it secret, it was her. "Okay, there is something but you have to promise me to not tell anyone, especially in Poppin' Party..!"

It definitely was unusual of the other to act like this but the bassist didn't mind. "I promise, Saaya-chan!"

"Thanks... Well uh... I think I might have a crush on Arisa..?" She admitted before swallowing the extra saliva that was in her mouth. 

This elicited another giggle. "Saaya-chan, I thought it would be something I didn't know." 

"E-Eh? How'd you know?"

"You always tease her a lot."

"But.. I tease everyone, no?"

She shook her head. "I've only seen you tease Arisa-chan."

"Ah-... Huh..." Her cheeks grew as red as her friend's eyes. 

"You also say that she's cute a lot..."

"I thought I wasn't obvious but everyone else knows, huh..?"

"I've mentioned it to Kasumi-chan and O-Tae-chan and they didn't seem to make a connection... So it's only me."

"Phew! That's a relief, Rimi-rin! Haha..." The rose gold haired girl had felt an actual weight lifted from her shoulders.

"Does Arisa-chan know?"

"No! I-... I mean no, she doesn't, I don't think she does..."

"Your secret is safe with me, Saaya-chan!" The raven haired girl reassured her friend as she got the money to pay for her choco coronets and placed it on the counter. 

Saaya took the money and handed Rimi the change with a smile. "Thank you, Rimi-rin! See you tomorrow!"

"Mm!" And with that, Rimi left the bakery, leaving Saaya back to Arisa's last words as she had basically just said them to Rimi-rin... 

In the meantime, Arisa was waiting a little impatiently. She was waiting for someone that she had called earlier. They said they wouldn't be long and yet it was starting to be a little long... That's when someone was at the door! The keyboardist opened the door and put on her shoes. 

"Grandma! I'll be in the warehouse with Rimi!" She then excited the house, shut the door behind her and led the girl to the other building. 

"Sorry I'm late, Arisa-chan..! I talked with Saaya-chan a little."

"Eh-?! Ahem- I see. That's fine." The blonde tried to keep a good poker face as she walked into the warehouse along with Rimi, locking the door before leading her downstairs where they would usually practice their instruments. This place was safer than at school to speak of this... 

Rimi always had a bit of trouble reading Arisa... She always took her so literally but she felt like she needed to make extra effort to read between the lines, today. "What did you want to talk about?"

"Um- Well... Jeez, already putting me on the spot like that..!" She was already so flustered about this... She might as well get it over with. With a deep breath and a slow exhale, she spoke. "I don't understand it but it feels like Saaya means a lot to me, lately... Don't laugh!"

That was a hard request, considering what she knew. "Do you mean that you have a crush on her..?"

"Tha-That's not what I'm saying!"

"Oh..." Read between the lines, she reminded herself. "Well, do you feel butterflies in your stomach when you think about her..?"

"I don't, no." The slightly taller girl raised a brow, why would she feel butterflies..? She did feel a numbness but that was with bread... Oh. She couldn't look Rimi in the eye anymore. "I-I mean I do feel numb in the stomach when I have bread-..." 

"Huh..?"

Another realization had hit her, the bread... It made her feel like that only when Saaya was around... "When I have bread around Saaya..." She finally admitted, still averting her gaze, a red tint creeping onto her cheeks. 

"That sounds like a crush, Arisa-chan." The bassist said with a soft smile. She was pretty happy that they both had crushes on each other! Now to get them to admit them to one another... That was going to be a challenge... 

"Fine, fine..! Maybe it is..." Arisa huffed, clearly in denial

"Are you going to tell her?"

The keyboardist looked at her friend as if she had said the most obscene thing on this planet. "What!? Are you out of your mind!? I can't tell her that! YOU can't tell her that!"

"O-Oh... I'm sorry, Arisa-chan..." Red irises lowered towards the floor.

"Ah- No I-..." She sighed rather suddenly. "It was just a question, maybe I overreacted..." 

It wasn't an apology but it would be the best Rimi would get, most likely, and it was enough for her. She looked back up at the other and smiled. "You really care about her, huh?"

This time, amber irises shifted, but to the left. "I guess you could say that, mm..."

"You two really would make a nice couple."

Wide eyes stared into the bassist's. "Co-Co-Couple!?"

"Uh-huh. Like in the movies. You could hold her hand, kiss her and-... Arisa-chan? Are you okay?" The blonde's face had steadily grown beet red as she talked. 

"I-I'm not a baby..! I don't need my hand to be held!"

She let out an airy laugh. "That's true, I forgot." 

"Remember it from now on..!"

"I will." She nodded as her phone rang, indicating she had a new message. After looking at it she looked back up at her friend. "Dinner is almost ready, I'm sorry Arisa-chan..."

"Hm? I said what I had to say." She wanted the other to know she wasn't upset for her leaving but she wasn't known for being too direct. 

"I'll be rooting for you two!" Rimi said as she climbed the stairs. 

"Ge-Get out of here already!" She shouted only for the shorter girl to giggle as she unlocked the door to leave.

Arisa laid on the ground with a groan mixed with a growl. As she stared up the ceiling, she couldn't help but think of Saaya... And holding her hand... She hid her reddening face with both of her hands and turned to the side into a fetal position. 

Meanwhile, at the bakery, Saaya sneezed.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope I managed to do Rimi justice here! She's a more complex character than most people give her credit for!


End file.
